When I was younger I believed in reincarnation. I thought that one day after I died I would be reborn again, but that I wouldn’t remember my past life (or lives).
Then one day I was reading one of those encyclopedia books for children with all sorts of information. I liked them because of the pretty pictures, but I must have read them too because I stumbled upon some facts about our solar system.
I read a little blurb about how our sun is aging and one day it would die and there would be no light on Earth and EVERYTHING ON EARTH WOULD DIE TOO (though the book reassured me that it wouldn’t happen for millions or some years).
That would all be dandy and fine but not to the imaginative mind of a kid who believes in reincarnation. Like, what if I was reborn at the time the sun burnt out and then I would have to suffer an early death because dumb star got too old??? I read and reread the information to make sure I had it right.
Ughughgh, I can’t tell you how worried I was. I eased my anxiety a little bit by deciding that maybe I wouldn’t be born at this time and I should, you know, enjoy the present life I was living.
I decided to give you a visual of how things went down. I know I remained cool on the outside (it’s a curse, looking cool, always), but I was very disturbed on the inside. That little writhing figure is me burning at the end of the world because I caught on fire by accident trying to make some due to lack of sun.
Deep sleep is natural to me, and so it was very unusual that I awoke last night during a storm. I don’t even know if it was the storm that woke me up or if was coincidence; I saw flashes of light coming through my window and heard the light clicking of (my doggy) Lucy’s little nails on the wood floor. I think she was scared, so I let her up on my bed that is four times her height and we got cozy as rain started pouring outside my window. All that was missing was Boyfriend.
Throughout the day really catchy (often, obnoxious) songs make their way in to my head and overstay their visit. Most often Boyfriend is the lucky lad to hear them; I don’t grace just anyone to my honeyed voice. Sometimes it’s the newest hit on the radio, other times it’s new music I’ve come upon on my Internet Adventures.
Unfortunately for myself and Boyfriend, most of the time we are not so lucky to have a popular, or even particularly liked song playing on repeat in my brain. Don’t misunderstand me reader, I have a diverse music bank, but for an unknown reason songs from years, nay, decades ago come to me when I am trying to have quiet thinking time.
I believe I can Fly by R Kelly. This one is really disruptive to my day. One, it’s super old; two, it’s super cheesy; three, I can’t break out like R Kelly on I BELIEVE I CAN SOAAARRR and that really annoys me.
I don’t Wanna Miss a Thing. It’s by Aerosmith, but I’m always reminded of Armageddon, however I don’t think it’s socially accepted to even bring this movie up in conversation anymore.
Nancy Sinatra’s Boots are Made for Walking. This comes on any time I am wearing boots or see anyone who is wearing boots. Sometimes I just think about wearing boots and this song comes on.
Also, a lot of Madonna, although mainly from Confessions on a Dancefloor. Kind of up-to-date, but not exactly.
Let it be noted I haven’t actually listened to some of these songs for years. They are haunting me, much like Freddy Krueger wouldn’t stay dead and haunted those poor kids.
Look provocative while salting shells until they have cooked al-dente; stuff shells with ricotta; I mean really stuff them, more is more; place yummy pasta sauce on bottom of cooking pan; arrange shells; cook ~350F; devour.
It is not summer yet, but the sun shines even though the wind may be cruel. If it would be socially acceptable I would run from building to building regardless of my shoes (lucky for me I was wearing chucks this morning… and I ran… when no one was looking… at 6am…). Color changing sunglasses and sunshine covering my ass? Reader, I needn’t confirm how excellent these are.
This morning before work I put on my best spandex because I had hoped to go to yoga with Valentina. After multiple tries of contacting her after work I realized it wasn’t yet noon and she was probably still sleeping.
I decided to run errands instead, which constituted of obtaining necessary school items; however, half of my purchases were in the form of candy, which may be the very opposite of exercise (judging…).
However, I still have my stretchy pants and long socks on, and I’m about to go roller-blading with my friend Scott, so Glutes-of-stone, I call you hither!
Flower, how typical; Boats; Me, working my parka and layers
Trying to stay warm in cold temperatures, whilst the weather has been confusing my now thin Floridian blood, I’ve been trying out this thing known to Northern parts as layering.
You see, dear reader, I come from a far off Eastern Europe where a thick duvet of white snow covers the vast land in December. Once upon a time I could stand the cold snow, but for many years since my ass has been sweating in hot Florida summer days.
Believe me when I tell you most people here only know how to wear about one to two layers. I know this because even in the unusually cold weather, which is prime time to wear all your wardrobe, I see people trying to stay warm with only but a tee and a sweatshirt. Circumstance has deemed that many Floridians shall have no sense of warmth or fashion (even the non-elderly, full-of-life-and-their-parents’-money young people at my University).
Delving deep into unknown subjects. Embracing nerdsom. Expanding my already vast vault of general knowledge. Reading a really long book…
450 pages with the tiniest font possible, the book was Jane Eyre. To be honest, my expectations weren’t very high, although I had heard a number of good reviews. The good news? Low expectations never disappoint! And yeah, it was a really good read. Besides, it was artistic literature so that makes me cool in the art community type of way (??? right?!?).
Gothic inspirations were present due to the time period it was written so the imagery was ~dark~. The heroine was atypical in that she was rather plain in looks, but clever. Yes, there was a romance.
what is life without love?
… it was worth the many hours of reading. But if you’re not into that, there is a movie coming out in March that may or may not be good.
I just wanted to show you some of the Wonderful ThingsI brought home after a day of vintage shopping.
Behold: The 70’s, in a single dress, perfect for any occasion. I think I may wear it for the first day back to school, what do you think? Isn’t it fab??? Isn’t it?
I didn’t have any volume in my hair and I refused to detract from the beauty of this jewel of a dress, so I just cut my head off.
Only in the picture, don’t fear, it’s stayed on my body.
My new collection of salt and pepper shakers.
I am trying to outdo Mom’s Polish Pottery Collection (I don’t know if there is a single dish left in our house made in China). I know Krista must be really jealous of my panda shakers, but I refuse to just give up such rare collectibles, even to a so-called “BFF”.
Singing, daydreaming baby Asians. Don’t you feel so peaceful just looking at them?
Just kidding!!!! Except my mom really does have mass amounts of Polish Pottery and the baby Asians are quite precious.
I did not buy any of these things, in fact, I did not buy anything while vintage shopping.
Even the fabulous (I am being really serious this time, guys) Rabbit Fur coats that were basically a steal (…why didn’t I buy anything again?).
But how could I? This morning I found out I had not one, but two pairs of black leather gloves in by bag, in FLORIDA. Even though I may be cold at times, something about this didn’t sit right with me. So I took one out. I felt better about myself. I may go back and buy a fur coat sometime.
Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.
Ahhh, wonderful! Actually, disappointing and discouraging, but certainly hopeful.
Which is exactly why I have provided proof I am living up to the expectations of my previous entry. Behold: Secret Goth
I forgot to mention this, but Goth kids are typically Vitamin D deficient and pale. They sometimes use make up to achieve this look, but since I am not a real Goth, I am naturally pale (jealous much, Goths?). Also, no smiling!!!
Notice that although I am wearing all black, Celestial Cat steps in to add just the right amount of color and add ever more mystery, because, well, the universe is mysterious.
Detailing on boots obviously contains some buckles and a few zippers. Two of each per boot, actually.
Celestial Cat tee: Threadless; cardigan and skirt: Forever 21 (purchased before New Year’s Resolution), Thigh High Boots (over the knee for me): Steve Madden
Recently a friend of mine revealed to me that I, along with another friend, were most likely Goths in a past life. Considering she has no confirmed psychic abilities, don’t believe her.
But since the subject was brought up I took a good few moments to ponder this revelation.
Upon close inspection of my closet, I admit I have Gothtendencies. I can sometimes be what one may refer to as a ‘Secret Goth’.
You know what??? Goths are probably the prime reason I am even attractive to the opposite sex… let’s face it, Goths are mysterious, and a lot of magazines have told me men love a mystery (see: Sherlock Holmes; see: large breasts that hold a deep, black abyss between them).
Become interesting and obscure, but still be accepted by society. Reap the benefits of being a Secret Goth.
1. Goth kids like anime. To be a secret Goth, you must have a past mildly filled with anime (never got into anime? It’s okay, any deep dark secret you’re embarrassed to tell most people will do).
Now, aside from my Sailor Moon middle school days (okay, I watched Cowboy Bebop for a while, but that show was mildly interesting and not appropriate for children, so it doesn’t actually count), I’ve had little exposure to anime, especially due to education getting in the way; it just takes up a lot of time. But at one point in my life, I watched it.
The secret comes in that you cannot openly like anime and you certainly cannot sport any anime accessories. There are things in your past that have marked you and grow with you, much like Harry Potter was marked with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. (Isn’t Chibi Sailor Moon, or whatever she is, so cute though???!)
2. Goths listen to a lot of Goth music I know very little about, but Marilyn Manson wears a lot of black, so maybe put a few of his songs on your iPod.
Take a hint from ravers, they are like colorful, ditzy goths sprinkled with sunshine. But choose your tunes wisely; remember, mystery, even in music.
3. This should be obvious, but own lace. Lace is accepted by non-Goths, but Goths especially love it.
Rihanna is not openly Gothic, but notice how mysterious her lace glasses make her appear??? Secret Goth.
4. Mesh is especially liked by goths, as it has resemblance to lace. However, to be a Secret Goth, opt out of black mesh clothing.
I, for example, recently purchased a blue mesh sweater. Very chic and Secretly Gothic; it feeds my hidden fetish yet renders me normal.
5. Mesh and lace aside, own multiples of every type of clothing item in black.
Aside from hinting at Goth, this comes in very handy on those lazy days when you’ve had very little sleep and wake up late for work/school/life.
Effortlessly Secret Goth. Although, I don’t believe she just woke up, but that would be contradictory to the point I am trying to make and therefore shall be ignored.
6. Chains, buckles, hint at S&M (but don’t actually practice it… or just don’t tell people you do).
I am still lusting after these Aldo wedges, but Sam Edelman and Jeffrey Campbell have got me covered for the moment (or at the very least, my feet).
I think these tips should help you be on your way of being a mysterious Secret Goth. Now, go out in to the world, and don’t admit anything.
1. Marked by or showing consideration for others, tact, and observance of accepted social usage. 2. Refined; elegant: polite society.
This morning I had work at 6 o’clock in the morning because I was covering a shift until 9AM, when my own shift until noon would begin, meaning I had to be up at 4:30 (that is AM) in order to make myself People Friendly.
I get to work, but what do you know, there is already someone there! Check my e-mail this is what I find from Unnamed Colleague sent at 11:36PM (six and a half hours before the shift):
Sorry for the late notice but I no longer need you to cover my shift Tuesday morning 6am-9am. I am very sorry for the inconvenience.
That’s nice. How very sorry, indeed. Turns out she had given it away to someone else, who in turn had again given it to another person!
I don’t believe in taking back gifts; you gave it to me, it’s mine! So, I worked it, along with the other person.
Also, I sent this e-mail back:
Considering I had already been asleep because I wake up at 4:30AM for 6AM shifts and don’t check my e-mail beforehand, I am also very sorry for the inconvenience.
I love the New Year. I wish it could happen more than once a year, like two times a year!
Back to school in Fall is almost like a New Year, but it’s not quite the same. No! Not quite, and soon there will be no more school to go back to, leaving me with only one New Year.
There is something about beginnings and endings that can be a wonderful, overwhelming mix of emotions. It is all too welcomed and refreshing! Of course, this is something that isn’t truly lasting, but I still think there could be lasting changes (for the better! duh).
And now, on Day Four of the New Year, I would like to present you with an update on my Resolutions (allow me put my serious glasses on):
1. Stop making odd faces in pictures.
The only pictures I have taken since the New Year began were on Day One, and well, let’s just say I am “trying too hard”, but improvement is on the way.
2. Live in the Moment.
So far so good… Computer Time has mostly been while at work… only downside is that I haven’t gotten a chance to upload photos from the last few days! Also, I had to set a chunk of time for reading e-mails.
3. Reduce money spent at Forever 21 by vast amounts.
So far $0 have gone to that store. On the other hand, Express was located conveniently close to Forever while out for coffee last night…
This year is for the new, for the expected but yet uncompleted .
I have barely spent any time on the internet in the past two days and it feels as if I’ve been on vacation. This is a hard fact to accept because I actually really like the internet.
It was wonderful, perhaps not for some people around me because I complained about, but not limited to the following:
being too cold
being too hot
being sleepy (there is a legitimate difference from above)
being too full (looking at you burrito bowl)
However, the New Year was welcomed with a lot of walking around at night, which despite my pretty shiny buckle oxfords that are ever so slightly too tight, was very figure friendly, perfect for the scorching hot Florida months coming up ahead.
I also had some wonderful pancakes last night, at a Pancake Party, at which I was invited to make the first pancake. The great honor aside, it was a really ugly pancake that split in two, but was incredibly delicious. In it I put:
sliced almonds (thank you Joyce for bringing one of the best nuts ever)
blueberries (when you put fresh blueberries and cook them in a pancake they ooze and pop in your mouth)
creme fraiche on the side
nutella on the side
A complete dinner.
By the way, none of us were too sure what creme fraiche was, aside from it’s use, so here wikipedia (the most reliable source on the internet), breaks it down for us:
Crème fraiche (French pronunciation: [kʁɛm fʁɛʃ], “fresh cream”; from French crème fraîche) is a soured cream containing about 28% butterfat and with a pH of around 4.5. It is soured with bacterial culture, but is thicker, and less sour than sour cream.
And it is delicious with sweet things, I might add.
Now, because I am at work and cannot post photos of my own, I will show you some of the creations of Tae Querney (you know, because reading is so overrated).